A beautiful day, from beginning to end

This morning when I looked out the window, it seemed like it was going to end up being a stay-inside-and-be-productive-while-it-rains sort of day.   I ran an errand with a friend once Robbie woke up, and when we got home I put him down for his morning nap.  I ran a load of laundry, ate lunch, wiped down our filthy stairs, and was making a mental list of all the chores I wanted to complete this afternoon.  Boring, but all necessary.  (Especially since we had been gone Monday through Wednesday traveling to Cincinnati to visit my relatives on my mom's side of the family.)

I heard Robbie waking up from his nap, and when I went in to get him, it seemed like the whole day just decided to lighten up!

First of all, this silly boy had apparently been awake for a little while and was trying to disrobe himself.  He got his arm stuck inside his outfit, which is when he decided to let me know he was awake and started to call for my help.  Of course, I ran for my camera before getting him out!

He was especially expressive after what appeared to be a very refreshing morning nap.

I cranked his window open to let in some fresh air while I changed his diaper, and that's when I realized that our gloomy, chilly day had turned into a beautiful, warm spring afternoon.  I bagged the list of chores and decided that we were heading over to the Morton Arboretum for an afternoon outside.  I changed Robbie into shorts and a short sleeved shirt, and applied - GASP - sunblock to every inch of his exposed skin (first time this spring!).

These tulips welcomed us into the parking lot of the Arboretum - don't you love the color combination?!  

And these were just plain pretty.  I wish I had them everywhere, all the time.

Our friends the Deedricks and Aunt Cheryl were also spending the afternoon at the Arboretum, so we met up with them for a little while to play.  Steve (Daddy Deedrick) had a hat on that Robbie took a liking to, and even wanted to wear around.  

Cheryl and her 2 boys... Robbie and Levi!  She knows these boys inside and out and loves them both so much.  Levi is 3 months younger than Robbie, and the last time we saw him was in the Fall at the Arboretum, when Robbie was 6 months old and he was 3 months old.  They are both so much bigger now!

The best part about the Arboretum for Robbie is this little area where you can pump water and watch it run through these wooden channels.  I don't know how else to describe it... all the big kids pump the water, and Robbie just plays at the bottom of the trickle-down channels, splashing away at the water pooling with stray wood chips.  He likes to pick the wood chips out and show each one to me like hidden treasure.  It is such simple, innocent entertainment and it totally melts my heart each time he proudly shows me his newest splinter of wood.  (Is that ridiculous?)  I always respond to him as if he were showing me the most beautiful thing in the world, which seems to greatly satisfy him.  We did this for about 30 minutes until he was soaking wet and very dirty.

Unlike the last time we let him loose in the water in this little play yard, I had come prepared.  Before heading to the car, I stripped his cold wet clothes off and wiped him down with a dry towel.  I put him in a dry one piece outfit and bribed him into sitting in his stroller, strapped in, with juice and a snack.  It was sheer mommy brilliance, if I do say so myself!

Robbie, relaxing on the way to the car with his juice... sunning his pasty white legs!?  I just loved this view I had of him reclining.  What a life...

And I am noticing that beautiful days make me sentimental... or maybe it's the growing realization that my time alone with Robbie is about to come to an end, and so these fun play-days we have together are even more special to me.  Whatever it is, I thought his toes looked especially baby-ish and delicious today, which warranted a picture. :)

My handsome little boy, as sweet as can be.  

We got home just as Daddy was pulling in from work, and while he mowed the lawn (is there a greater sound/smell?!?!  I think not.), Robbie napped and I put my feet up.  We decided to try something new for dinner, and went to Alfie's, which is basically a medieval diner.  I truly don't know what to make of it.  On the way home, we picked up some Dairy Queen - and yes, it was heavenly.   

What a fun day we had!

Update on our little girl

Yesterday I had my final ultrasound (we think) at the hospital, and it was fun to see our baby girl again!  She has gotten so much bigger in the last two months that she no longer fits very well on the ultrasound screen.  Here's the best picture:

If you're wondering (like I did) what those bubbly-looking things are that seem to be floating in the amniotic fluid above her face, that is the umbilical cord.

Everything still appears to be right on schedule and progressing perfectly... we are incredibly thankful for her health.  My favorite part about seeing her was when the technician had a perfect view of her face straight-on.  She moved the ultrasound wand in and out so that I could see the contours of her face, and our baby's chubby cheeks were actually visible!  I have never seen that before in a typical ultrasound, which tends to be very skeletal-looking.  

Welcome, little one!

I have a tendency to follow tragic blogs.  I don't know why.  I am compelled to pray for every family and sick baby that I read about.  I have always had a tendency towards being sensitive (read: the reason I didn't pursue a career in Psychology!  It sort of defeats the purpose if the patient has to comfort the doctor, right?).  I can't imagine some of the circumstances others find themselves in, and every new story I come across seems to break my heart all over again.  I think what I appreciate about so many of them is that the authors are not only allowing but praying for God to minister to others through their suffering.

So it was especially refreshing and a great blessing to me to be able to visit a dear friend (and her husband) in the hospital tonight who just gave birth to their 3rd child.  Her pregnancy was not without its own unique set of complications, but her baby was born perfect and beautiful and healthy.  I held the baby in my arms for somewhere around an hour, and realized that I have a much deeper appreciation for health and life and these fragile little ones.

I was mesmerized by this little dark beauty.  The silky hair (there was a lot of it!), the delicate eyelashes, the invisible eyebrows, the perfectly formed nose and lips, the paper thin fingernails, the still-incredibly-flexible feet that curled themselves up and inward, the smell that only babies in the hospital have and so quickly lose, that little 'o' that the perfect little mouth makes during deep slumber... I envisioned this little person all tucked into a ball, just days ago, still inside my friend's womb.  I thought about my daughter, still growing and developing, curled (most of the time) into a tight little wad inside of me, except for when she is trying to claw her way out through my belly button which seems to happen every night after dinner!  I thought about the miracle of creation and how every moment of it is plainly visible to our Great God, and not only that, but He is the one forming each of these new little people in 'the secret place'. 

Nothing escapes Him.  The perfection and uniqueness that each tiny baby possesses, even when it may not 'look' or seem that way to us.  The story of their (our!) lives that will unfold as it was written by Him before time began.  Every aspect and minute of our lives is known by Him, from beginning to end, intimately.  And He is full of love and compassion and grace and generosity.  Why in the WORLD do I allow fear to have any place in my heart or daily life, knowing these truths?

Thank you, sweet little baby, for reminding me tonight that God is so good all of the time.  We are so glad that you are here!  You are a beautiful miracle.  

A little note from Robbie

Good morning!!

I just wanted to show you what a happy boy I am, and all the new things I am doing.  By the way, do you like my new haircut?

I have been keeping my mom pretty busy, even when we're at home doing nothing.

Yesterday I helped her load the dishwasher.  She wasn't doing it quite right...

I found this spatula out of place, so I moved it.  I was having so much fun playing with it, I didn't realize that I was standing by myself for quite a while!

Then I got on to my kitchen inspection.  I know I'm lower to the ground than all the grown-ups around here, but for goodness sakes will someone clean beneath the refrigerator?

The dining room is in good shape today - my mom and dad even have all the outlets covered.  Just to keep them on their toes, I double check them to make sure.

This is a fun place to play - the garbage can.  There's a very cute little boy that apparently mom and dad keep inside, and so I visit him and we talk.  

Sometimes I try to help him escape, but all that I can find inside is gross, smelly stuff.

This morning I was sent to baby jail to play while mom folded laundry nearby.  There was this one toy I really wanted to play with, but I couldn't get it out of my toy bin.  So I just leaned over the side of the bin and played with it from there for a few minutes.  That got boring, so later I crawled under the side table you see in the background and banged the mixing bowls together in protest.  Mom loved that.

I love looking out the front window!  I like to point at the cars dropping kids off at school, and all the birds and animals I see in our front yard.  I'm getting taller - I used to barely be able to see over the ledge when mom would stand me up in front of the window.

An average day in the life of a pregnant mommy

6:30am - start the day with the rising of the sun.  Literally.  Robbie would have slept longer but I forgot to close the blinds all the way.  Lay in bed for a while with him, looking over our pillows out the window at the cars, birds, trees, rain... anything that will entertain him while I try to get myself moving.  Rehearse 'if you're happy and you know it' and 'the itsy bitsy spider' together and marvel at his new ability to follow along with the hand motions... even trying to 'sing' along with me at the same time!

7am - decide that it's a donut day for mommy.  Heat up a bottle of whole milk for Robbie to drink in the car, bundle up and head to Dunkin Donuts drive-thru for a decaf and a french crueler.  

8:30am - put my early bird to bed for a nap.  Check baby Stellan's blog, knowing it is surgery day, and pray.  Lay down for brief nap myself.

10:15am - retrieve a very happy little boy from his crib, and get creative with how I keep him entertained as I take a shower (don't ask).  Also, trim bits of hair that were missed during last night's baby-in-the-bathroom-sink, at-home haircut.  Remind self that there is a reason people pay those kids' salons money to perform this task.  It is WORTH IT.

11:30am - feed Robbie 'brunch' since he slept through breakfast... eats an entire orange, handful of multigrain cheerios and 1/2 an english muffin.  Make myself a little brunch treat as well (*see recipe below) and wash down with lemonade - donuts are not filling.  Attempt to run long-overdue errands before the afternoon nap hour strikes.  

*Swiss Bread

6 tbsp shredded swiss cheese

4 tbsp mayonnaise

1 small scoop of minced garlic, from jar

juice from 1/2 lemon

Mix above ingredients together, smear on english muffin, and broil until cheese is bubbly.  Makes enough spread to cover 6 english muffin halves.

Early afternoon - craving roast beef; stop at Arby's in a moment of weakness.  Regret the decision for the rest of the day, especially upon reviewing list of consumed foods thus far.  Apparently, have entered into the stage of pregnancy where my stomach feels like it is up in my throat and fills rather quickly.  Vow to make better choices... tomorrow.

3:30pm - nap the little bugger again, after filling his belly with his favorite beverage (milk).  This time, seize the opportunity to be productive.  Run a load of laundry.  Install Quicken and set up our budget.  Prep the incredible pile of mail that has been building for my dear husband who will 'do something' with every piece of it this weekend.  Shred and recycle a lot of junk.  Organize new desktop mail caddy for said weekend activity.  Experience moment of thankfulness that the division of responsibility in our household has not found me managing our bill payment.  I am better at preparing raw chicken and growing/raising babies.  And other things, but you get the point.

4:30pm - start dinner.  Decide on stir fry.  Wash and chop all ingredients, realize I am missing onion.  Curse the idea of trying to make a 'quick trip' to Jewel during rush hour in the rain for one measly onion.  Get Robbie's dinner ready for when he wakes up.

5:15pm - the prince awakens.  He feasts on turkey, cheese, peas and cornbread.  I don't think he had a whole grain all day (unless you count the Cheerios during 'brunch').  Pangs of guilt.  Hose down child and high chair and dash out the door in attempt to retrieve necessary onion.

6:30pm - eat dinner on the couch with Rob.  Try to eat fast, knowing that it's only a matter of time until Robbie tires of playing in his pack and play 3 feet from us and starts gagging himself for attention and retrieval.  Make it 1/2 way through my plate of food before gagging starts (his, not mine).  Warm a bottle of milk, wind down child before bed.  (aka: wrestle on the couch with mom and dad.)  Try to teach him not to bite in his excitement, which results in him biting us even more.

7:30pm - put baby to bed for the night; mix up brownie batter, bake in oven, and lick bowl clean.  Set kitchen timer to remind self of brownies.

8pm - realize upon checking brownies that I never changed the dial on oven from 'broil' setting used earlier in the day to 'bake' for the brownies.  Broiled entire pan of brownies.  Eat a rice krispie treat instead.  Very large piece.  Think to myself the entire time, 'you're going to regret this.'

9pm - catch up on last dvr'd episode of The Hills.  Vow to never watch that crap again.  Consider setting the recording now for next week's episode in case I forget over the weekend.  Wonder what is wrong with me.

9:30pm - check in on Stellan again; chat with my brother online who is in an airplane that is testing in-flight wi-fi on Southwest.  Watch belly go crazy as our baby girl enjoys some awake time.  Wonder what she looks like, how big she would be if I were holding her right now, how many things I feel like I have yet to do in order to be ready before she gets here.  Take deep breath and remind myself that none of the things on my to do list are really that important (she will have food, a bed, things to transport her, and clothes for the first few months - the rest is incidental).  Spend time instead praying through the blogs I have listed on the left that represent sick babies and struggling families.  

11pm - begin updating my blog.  Consider digging out the Tums before going to sleep.  Make mental list of things to pack tomorrow in preparation for trip to Angola on Thursday to help open up the lake house with my family.  Find thoughts drifting towards my favorite donut that can only be found in rural Indiana at Tom's Donuts, Pizza King, and other lovely edibles Angola has to offer.   Remind self to pack Tums.  Marvel at the way pregnancy seems to sap me of all intellect and will power.  

You give me fever...

We aren't quite sure what is going on, but Robbie's been spiking fevers all weekend... mainly at night.  Since he isn't showing any other signs of illness (aside from a seriously waning appetite) I'm guessing it's just teething.  His 8th tooth is popping up on the bottom row.  Although I feel terrible about how miserable he feels and could really do without the broken sleep, I am loving how extra snuggly he is.  This morning I even got 2 unsolicited kisses from him!  Sweet boy.

On Friday morning, before he started getting feverish, we took a few pictures in the front yard.  It was gorgeous out, and almost 70 degrees.  I was happy for an excuse to put a few springy outfits on him that he received for his birthday (thanks, DeBlock's and Kelsey!) and let him loose in the grass for the first time this season.  He loved looking up at the trees and pointing to every bird he could spot.

On Saturday morning, although he wasn't feeling 100% himself, we decided it was too nice out  to stay inside and paid the Morton Arboretum a brief visit.  The Arboretum and I have a good relationship - it was the last place I spent any amount of time before going into early labor with Robbie.  I fully plan on spending every day in June here, in hopes of a repeat early-labor experience!

Robbie spent most of the time observing the other kids playing from the comfort of his stroller with a general glazed-over look.  He did manage to get out for a shoulder-ride on dad, and to splash around in 2 different little pools of water.  There is so much for kids to do at the Children's Garden that we can't wait to bring him back a lot this summer... especially once he starts walking!

And this afternoon, while Daddy was gone, we paid grandma and grandpa a quick visit between naps.  We thought it would be fun to try out one of his new birthday toys that we left here for Robbie to play with - the Ball Popper.  It didn't go over well at first.  This picture pretty much sums up how he felt - death grip on my jacket, with a look of 'why are you doing this to me?!' on his face.

And we can't be at grandma and grandpa's house without banging on the glass coffee table with slimy hands!  How fun.

Easter

My little jailbird on Easter Sunday...

I guess I was just too tired to think about arranging my little 3-man family for a family picture while we all still had our Sunday best on!  Plus, this outfit was much more comfortable for Robbie so it's what we changed him into right after church.  A mom's love for dressing her kids up on holidays can only go so far. 

We had such a nice Easter though - my mom made a big ham lunch and one of her friends who goes to her bible study and lives in their cul-de-sac came over with her family to join us.  I love that my parents are so inclusive of others, especially around holidays.

We had managed to get to church that morning... on time even!  But I was conflicted about putting Robbie in the nursery since it would be a busier-than-usual Sunday in his room.  It didn't go well, and although I know that I can't hang on to him everywhere, forever, I still try to gauge whether a situation is worth entering into.  By the time we picked him up after the service, apparently all of the babies but one were bawling.  It was chaos in that room and I felt really badly for the workers!  Oh well.  Hopefully next Sunday is better.

I am not going to post all of my thoughts about Easter on here... partially because I don't have the luxury of time right now, and partially because I feel like that sometimes comes across as being preachy.  But this IS the place where you come to peek in on our lives - and Jesus is a big part of that, whether that is apparent or not to you (I hope that it is!).

So I will let you know that this Easter, I have been struck by the idea that God knew that He would send his only Son to the cross for all of us... He knew before time began, He knew on the night Jesus was born, He knew when Jesus prayed to Him and asked that He 'let this cup pass from my lips'...  And not only did God know this was going to happen, as our pastor reminded us - God SENT Jesus to the cross.  What love... You can read the story of Easter and of love in the book of John, chapters 19 and 20 if you haven't gotten the chance to already.

Becoming a follower of Jesus has been and will continue to be a life changing process for me.  Becoming a mom has, in some ways, been similarly transforming (I hope that doesn't sound blasphemous!).  By that, I mean that some days I feel like a completely different person than I was before Robbie existed.  I saw myself, my life, my husband, everything... differently.  Then I held Robbie for the first time, and suddenly my universe shifted and everything I knew to be true was still true, I just saw it all in a new light.  I have a greater understanding of how God might feel towards me (his daughter) because I myself now have a son.  Certain things have deeper meaning and significance.  I am also more acutely aware of the blessings we have been given, and of how temporary they can be.  How fragile life is.  

This Easter, I am thankful for the sacrifice Jesus paid for me on the cross.  My salvation is dependent upon the truth that Jesus not only died, but was raised from the dead - and I believe it.  I am thankful that I can take all of my sin to Jesus and find forgiveness and grace each day, and continually be transformed - resurrected daily, in a sense, from the death that my sin brings.

I put a new song on our playlist (finally!) - it's Chris Tomlin's "Unfailing Love".  Here are the lyrics, if you're interested... I think they are beautiful.

You have my heart

And I am Yours forever

You are my strength

God of grace and power

And everything You hold in Your hand

Still You make time for me

I can't understand

Praise You God of Earth and sky

How beautiful is Your unfailing love

Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain

The Holy One

My unfailing love

Unfailing love

You are my rock

The one I hold on to

You are my song

And I sing for You

And everything You hold in Your hand

Still You make time for me

I can't understand

Praise You God of Earth and sky

How beautiful is Your unfailing love

Unfailing love

And you never change God You remain

The Holy One

My unfailing love

Unfailing love

And everything You hold in Your hand

Still you make time for me

I can't understand

Praise you God of Earth and sky

How beautiful is Your unfailing love

Unfailing love

And you never change God You remain

The Holy One

My unfailing love

Unfailing love

I will praise You 

Praise you God of Earth and sky

How beautiful is your unfailing love

Unfailing love

And you never change God you remain

The Holy One

My unfailing love

Unfailing love

Unfailing love

Unfailing love

Unfailing love

Unfailing love