Unexpected love

Our little family has been hobbling through the last 6 days fighting off chest colds and sore throats and boogie noses. Valentine's Day loomed on the horizon and to be honest I couldn't have cared less. I love my family, and I love to celebrate, so you know it's bad when I pass up an excuse to bust out sprinkles, gift wrap, balloons and/or themed greeting cards.

It got so bad that I actually drove myself to the doctor on Monday, praying for a strep diagnosis so that I would be sent home with medication. No such luck! I was feeling desperate (creative?) at one point and threw the kids in the bath tub with me just so I could soak and be warm. I poured in extra bubble bath, and the only rules were 1) stay in the tub until I say it's time to get out, and 2) don't touch mommy because she hurts. everywhere. (also known as 'stay on your side of the tub')

It was fairly successful.

Haha - oh yeah, and then they got a little wild, so I told them we were going to play a game: Who can count to 10 with their eyes closed?! I was so desperate for a few minutes of peace, this is what I actually coerced my children to do. A couple of times in a row. Which means I bought myself another minute or two of soaking. I am embarrassed to have done this, looking back.

This was all while Maddie took her late afternoon nap. Rob came home to find the 4 of us in our pajamas at 5:30pm in our walk-in closet, kids hiding in the clothes, me in the middle of the floor sipping hot tea and trying hard not to talk (the agony!). What a mess motherhood can become when you are ill. I'm glad these are memories now. Kinda funny.

So we woke up on Valentine's Day still sick, Maddie had developed a fresh chest cough to round out her clogged green nose (lovely) and I was convinced I was dying, or at least had developed mono. My mom came to our rescue and spent the morning with us, bringing the kids V-day gifts and generally saving the day. I was feeling so down all morning, discouraged from how long I had been sick, how cabin feverish we were getting, and bummed to be missing out on a fun little chance to celebrate love with my kiddos.

And then sweet things started to fall into place.

My mom left just as I got all of the kids down for a nap at the same time. I spent a few minutes in the kitchen by myself picking up and wiping the counters down, and the thought occurred to me: I had yet to ask the Lord to heal my sickness. I had waited it out, gone to the doctor, and brought home a few over the counter natural aids and teas to ease my pain. But I had not first taken my burden to God. So I stopped cleaning and just prayed a simple, desperate prayer in my kitchen that the Lord would take away my illness and bless me with health again. Very embarrassed that it was my last resort as opposed to my first inclination.

Then I went upstairs and laid down and slept for an hour and a half, and as we all woke up from our naps at the same time, I actually felt a little less sick.

The kids and I headed downstairs for an afternoon snack, and I picked up a box on the counter that we had received from a dear friend last week but hadn't opened yet. I was holding out until we could really enjoy it together, and it seemed like a sure way to boost our spirits.

Precious words and gifts from loved ones who know and love us so well. What a blessing!

I switched the girls' shirts out for the ones I had found a while back and saved for this day.

A knock on the door then, and yet another dear friend showing up to love on us. Warming our home with her daughters' sweetly decorated cookies and this little jewel that will remind me of how lucky I am that we have found close, sweet friendship in one another.

I felt a little more energized and festive, and so I popped Maddie in the baby bjorn and set about making dinner for the kids and putting Rob's and my dinner in the oven for later. The day wasn't over yet - I was bound to salvage what was left and make the most of what we had left of Valentine's Day!

One fast batch of pink frosted cupcakes - check.

Then Rob walked in the door with beautiful bouquets of flowers - for me AND Ellie! Oh be still my heart. It was the highlight of my day, watching him give those to her... the look on her face... receiving her first flowers, and from daddy. Perfection. They were as big as her.

Rob asked Robbie to help him carry them inside at first, explaining to Robbie that the flowers were from him AND Robbie, for the girls. Teaching Robbie how to love. How to grow up and not always receive, but how to give. To his mother. To his sister. More heart-melting as I watched it all unfold. Thinking, this is my family. The husband I get to spend my life with. The children we are raising and loving. The man who will teach our boy how to become a man himself. I don't deserve any of this. Any of them.

I learned a few important things this Valentine's Day.

I usually try to pull things off on my own. But celebrating love is not a one-man show or a one-day affair. I couldn't make the holiday what I wanted to for the kids - full of themed playdates and homemade cookies and handmade cards and calls across the country to express the love in our hearts for those who are dearest to us.

What I found, instead, was a richness that came from allowing others into the space that sat empty of plans and activities and expectations. By becoming an observer instead of the orchestrator, I was able to realize how loved we are as family and friends took turns expressing themselves.

This may not make sense to anyone. Maybe it makes sense to you reading this, if you have a personality that is similar to mine. I hope it resonates in some way though, and encourages you to open up and receive things differently than you might be used to doing. I know I am learning to force things less (health... fun... agenda... routine!) and roll with things more. Release. Appreciate. Observe. Ask Him first. Wait. Submit. Accept.

And then bask in His glory. Because He always shows Himself to be faithful and true and loving when we seek Him first.

My heart is so full this Valentine's Day.

And also? This set of sweet cheeks is starting to spread her wings. Pulling herself up on everything all of the sudden. You have never seen such a narrow little babe from the back, especially when she is naked!

She can't stop pulling up to standing in her crib, but has yet to master the dismount and therefore cries and cries until she is rescued and laid back down. These little ones. So funny as they figure things out.

Hope your Valentine's Day was lovely and full of love in unexpected places!

{*I celebrated the end of my awful cold by getting a haircut today. Can we shallowly discuss for a moment how wonderful it is when someone else shampoos your hair? Heaven. And then my stylist showed me how to curl my hair with a straight-iron. A straight-iron, people. My mind was blown. I think it makes me a little nerdy or something that this entertains me but there you have it.}

Lame catch up post

We've been under the weather, sharing colds and sore throats. And Rob had a touch of pink eye last week but thankfully he somehow kept that to himself!

This big girl is eating real food at almost every meal. I give her baby food just to deplete our stash, but she prefers feeding herself and gags and chokes a lot less. I'll be glad when she's not overstuffing her mouth with pieces of food, but I know that stage will probably last a while since Robbie and Ellie still do it on occasion!

She's enjoyed sweet potato, baked beans, grapes, melon, bread and jelly, pasta, green beans, carrots, peas, peaches, pears, chunky applesauce, and multi grain cheerios.

And speaking of eating, I can't decide if it's a phase or if she will just be my messy child, but Ellie can make the biggest messes with any meal I give to her. It's endearing until I have to clean her (and the table and the floor) up afterwards. After ravioli and sauce for dinner the other night, there was nothing left to do but put her in the sink and let her play for a while as I made Rob's dinner. You can see we were out of paper towel, so that wasn't an option for clean-up! She thought the sink bath was awesome, and I couldn't believe she fit. We will be doing this again.

Robbie is learning how to play with Maddie - meaning, we teach him that it's fun to build towers for her with the idea that we WANT her to knock them over! He's such a good big brother. He goes right along with us, building adorable little cities and then patiently waiting for baby-godzilla to cruise by and destroy what we've built.

My mom comes by on Fridays to help me with laundry (or anything!), and this past Friday my dad came too. The kids were beside themselves! They brought animal cookies for their afternoon snack, played, and my mom did all my folding and ironing while I nursed a cup of her vegetable soup for my sore throat. Then it started snowing, so I got to shovel the driveway for Rob before he got home. Doesn't family make everything better?

Sweet Maddie gives us kisses now. The open-mouth baby kind! Robbie is of course the recipient since she's in love with him.

One of the women Rob works with (but not in his office) sends the kids the sweetest gifts in the mail. She sent the kids these aprons and matching spatulas as well as everything to make pancakes as a housewarming gift.

It was big hit and Ellie thinks she's my permanent assistant in the kitchen anytime I'm cooking.

(She likes to combine looks and has her police woman hat on.)

I let her help me make muffins and she was in her glory.

Robbie wanted in on the action! Ellie sweetly offered him a turn mixing and be still my heart, I caught this little moment.

Getting creative with a babe who didn't want to wait as I got ready one morning but only wanted to be held.

(Don't worry, I my hand was just out of the shot making sure she wouldn't fall.)

I love this little profile.

Enjoying the last of the boxes in our bedroom before I finished them off.

Maddie is getting brave and pulling herself up. Which means she is also getting herself into some funny sticky situations. I see the look that says "Help, mom!" a lot now. I love it.

I also realize that at this point, I have probably waited too long to take pictures and do a post about Maddie as a 10 month old. Sad!

If you were a fly on our wall...

...you would have seen Ellie peering curiously into our master bathroom tub the other day, and then carefully spitting into it. Yes, spitting. I caught her in the act and said "Ellie! What are you doing?! We don't spit!" She replied calmly, "Mom, it's just a little spit. It's just a little spit, riiiiight?" Me: "No Ellie, we do not spit at all." (Nice try, sweetheart.)

...you would have observed Robbie staring at the daisy flower window clings in the kitchen, and then announcing "Those yellow things in the middle of the flowers are the eyeball."

...you would have been there when Robbie said to Maddie over breakfast one morning "Welcome to our land, Cakers!" and then turned to me and tenderly said "I missed her, mom. When she was in your tummy, I missed her in our family."

...you would have needed to hold back laughter with me at the table when Robbie was disobeying me and I said to him "Robbie, you need to obey". "Why, mom?" "Because God wants us to obey all the time, everyday!" And without missing a beat he said in all seriousness to me, "But I don't have the Holy Spirit today, mom."

...you would see a few rare and precious moments in which Maddie had woken up in the night and was pleased to be rocked back to sleep, sweetly snuggled up chest-to-chest with me. My favorite thing in the world.

If you were a fly on our wall, you would probably wonder why I am still not 100% unpacked yet from the move, you'd see Maddie practicing standing all by herself, and you'd have watched Robbie steal Reese's Pieces one morning before I was awake and hide them in his closet to be found by me later that day. You would have overheard precious conversations between Rob and I and Robbie about the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and all the ways and times that we can pray to God. You would see Ellie with too much food in her hair too much of the time, and crusty snot smeared across sweet little cheeks since we are all sharing a cold. You would probably be ashamed of how much TV I allow my children right now, since that is what keeps them calm enough for me to focus on unpacking for any amount of time. You might be glad for my family that I have taken up cooking dinner again, but you would probably be disappointed in the menu. Mostly, you would be glad to see that all is well in our household, that we are settling in and that this new place has come to feel like home sooner than we thought it would, and that we are content and happy together.