Bookends

Is it just me, or is there is something about gentle older women cradling the tiniest of babes that tugs at your heart? I'm reduced to tears when it's my own grandmother lovingly snuggling my little one.

The simplest things bring my grandmother joy. Although what is more miraculous than a little baby? She knows this secret - the best thing about life - and you can see it on her face. Her body is failing but her arms still remember how to embrace. Some things are impossible to forget, even if a mother's instinct helps the memory.

(Maddie always has a smile for her great grandma Jessie)

These are the bookends to my family, and they are precious to me.

Fat free snack

My new favorite place to kiss Maddie is just below her jaw under those chubby cheeks. The skin is unbelievably soft. I plant my face against hers, start kissing her, and she goes still and gets a huge smile on her face and eats it up!

It's our new favorite thing.

Carry on.

Sweet & Sour

In 20 years, when Robbie and Ellie open up the blog book I have this printed into and read about the weekend we just had, I hope that they go out and buy me a really nice present and then come home and mow the yard for their dad (and maybe trim the bushes too).

For every sour moment the weekend brought our way, there was a sweet one to match it, for which I am always thankful. The Lord knows just how much we can take as mothers!

On Friday, the Sweet & Sour list went something like this:

Sweet - spending the afternoon and evening with my mom here to help while Rob was out late for work

Sour - the kids waking up when the garage door opened at 11:30pm and not falling back asleep until 3:30am. That would be 4 hours of tears, screaming, back and forth trips into their room, singing, firm requests to go to sleep, and longing to just go to bed.

Sweet - finally falling back asleep with Robbie sandwiched between Rob and I so that Ellie would not disturb the rest of his night of sleep.

Sour - Robbie slept in our bed with us. Enough said.

Sour - waking up one hour later to feed Maddie at 4:30am.

Sweet - spending any time alone with her is sweet to me! I also got to sleep in the bed in her room for the next 4 hours straight, which felt like the best 4 hours of sleep ever at that point. (Robbie had sprawled out in my bed during my absence and I was basically not invited back - ha!)

Saturday:

Sweet - having family breakfast together

Sour - feeling like we had been out all night partying, except that we hadn't. Oh, and in our daze we forgot to change the kids' diapers at appropriate intervals and Robbie's was so full that pee was actually pooling on his chair while he ate his eggs. Low point as a mother.

Sweet - getting out of the house for groceries to keep our energy up (and to acquire coffee!) while daddy worked in the yard.

Sour - taking all 3 kids to Target for groceries is like my Everest. I keep trying to get in and out without incident and it keeps not going well. I refuse to give up. At least at this point I was caffeinated.

Sweet - having friends over for a cookout and watching our kids play together!

Sour - It drizzled on our heads, was slightly chilly, and both of our 2 month olds were awake during dinner, making it hard for the moms to eat (think trying to cut grilled chicken with one hand and a fork). Robbie brought the toy shopping cart outside and then drug it back inside, smearing mud on the carpet. We had totally given up managing the 3 older kids and just let them do whatever so that we could finish eating and have a few moments of conversation!

Sweet - although they went to bed a little later than usual, all of the kids slept hard through the night.

Sour - Rob and I waking up Sunday with sore throats, and because children were still sleeping well past the hour we have to be up and getting ready for church, missing church altogether.

Sunday:

Sweet - happy little faces greeting us when they finally awoke

Sour - Rob and I weren't the only ones with colds

Sweet - picking up donuts and coffee and heading to a park for the morning, and enjoying mild weather and time together

Sweet - everyone back on their regular sleep and nap schedule

Sweet - stopping by the nursing home to visit my grandmother with Maddie in the afternoon. I got there at the tail end of dinner time, and if you want to be popular at a nursing home just walk in with a baby. I was literally swarmed by sweet old ladies and when I tried to follow my grandmother out of the dining hall as her caretaker wheeled her towards her room! My baby and I were trapped behind walkers and wheelchairs and shaky little hands reaching out to stroke her chubby cheeks and soft head, and it was just the funniest, most precious situation.

Sweet - spending time with just my grandmother in her room before she went to bed for the night. She held Maddie nearly the entire time and it lit up her world.

Sour - listening to her try to speak and not finding the right words, or forgetting the thought that was just at the forefront of her mind and on the tip of her tongue. Discussing who in our family may have had red hair, and hearing her say that she doesn't remember the color of her mother's hair.

Sour - leaving.

Sweet - returning home with pizza for dinner.

Sweet - everyone in bed with full tummies by 8:30pm.

And the sweetest of them all - Maddie slept from 8pm-5:30am straight last night without waking! And the older 2 are still asleep, which means 11 hours straight for them without waking. What a great way to wrap up the weekend.

Profound arrangement

There is a symphony of coughing playing in the monitor next to me, and sometimes I stop to think about what everyone else's lives sound like right now. I know a lot of my friends' sound similar to mine, as we are this generation's group of young mothers.

I love it when mine includes the dishwasher and washing machine and dryer, the sounds of productivity and things being washed new. I also love that sometimes the stars align (yes, in the middle of the day!) to offer me a few minutes of complete silence in my home. But more often than not, I am dancing through life to the tune of giggles and "why's" and pleas for more juice and whining and wrestling match grunts and sneezes and little thoughts that make their way out of little mouths that make me stop and wonder at how such wisdom can be spoken from the smallest of people.

If I'm not careful, I tune out these sounds and move about my day without an awareness that I am living in His presence, amidst His glory, right here in my home where the dishes pile up and the toy bin is emptied and strewn across the family room (again). I have never taken for granted that I am able to stay home with our children. What I often miss is the opportunity to embrace life as it is with 3 small children. There will be plenty of time to enjoy a perfectly clean home, quieter days, and the absence of a monitor or babe on my hip and spit up on my shoulder.

Today is not that day. And I am thankful.

He weaves His purposes through my life and our family and this home, regardless of the chaos or sickness or demands or disappointments, and it is the most profound arrangement that only He could compose. Today I will listen.

Glass bottles

Give me a little time to myself and I'm a blogging machine, even at 6am.

I don't know how many of you have newborns in your household... but if you do, and are looking for a bottle to use with a baby who is still very new and used to breastfeeding, I have a recommendation for you.

These classic glass bottles, which come in 2 sizes, short (4 oz) and tall (8 oz), are wonderful. Obviously there are no BPA concerns since they're glass. The nipple on these bottles is what I appreciate most. We have a stash of beloved Born Free bottles that both Robbie and Ellie used, but the corresponding nipples were too large and long for Maddie when we started to transition to bottle feeding her recently.

So I went to the store and bought a few other options to try out, and this Evenflo glass bottle was her favorite. My friend Kacey also uses these bottles with her newborn, but with a different nipple (one the hospital used that is even smaller while her babe was in the NICU). This bottle is a great choice for many of us who didn't expect to be bottle feeding as early as we are. It makes the transition that much easier, and they aren't very expensive. Especially if you are filling it with liquid gold #2 (Nutramigen! Breastmilk will always be #1.). I do recommend the larger size if you need to make more than a 3 oz bottle of formula. The smaller 4 oz size bottle fills up quickly once you pour in 4 oz of water and then add formula - mixing gets dicey as the formula wants to clump inside the nipple. I ended up buying both sizes and that works well for us, as some of Maddie's feedings are still as small as 2 or 3 oz, but others are 4 or even 5 oz.

I bought the bottles at Target, but they are sold many other places as well (Walgreens, Ebay, etc.). I just purchased a few protective sleeves (new, on Ebay - click here) for feedings away from home. I am still a bit of a klutz and it's not outside the realm of possibility for me to drop a bottle on a hard floor in public. (Remember how I dropped and shattered my iPhone!?) These sleeves seemed like a good idea. Sorry the image is small.

Apparently you can buy the bottles with sleeves already attached, like these at Target online, although I have not seen them on shelves.

I hope this helps someone out there struggling with bottle feeding.

Ironic.

Last night Madeline slept from 8:30pm straight through to 5:30am!

Alternately, Ellie was up nearly every hour of the night for reasons unknown (which means a weepy and disoriented Robbie was as well), so I got less sleep than I have since bringing Maddie home from the hospital.

At least there's hope. We are a mess right now!

Best Friends

(fishing a rogue golf ball out from under the deck)

(checking each other's diapers for "poopies")