Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Acutely aware...

I realized this week that I am acutely aware...

...of how good God is to have created a world with variety and vast beauty. How delicious cherries and chocolate are together, the way the changing seasons are beautiful and each full of wonder, and yet leave us always looking forward to the turning of the next one. And with each additional inch {or foot} of snow, I can choose to bemoan the inevitable winter days we have yet ahead of us, or I can ponder how the snowflakes that continue to fall speak God's glory and Lordship over all of creation as they each remain perfectly unique. Such a wonder. 

...of how quickly my little ones are growing up. Him, in his size 6 pants that even so won't fit much longer and looking just like his daddy in button down shirts for school. Her, with her stubborn tantrums making less frequent appearances and her love of helping, pleasing, and growing independence. The littlest, happy to exclaim "I got it!" when anyone tries to assist her. The way her strawberry curls are beginning to graze her back. Her quick mind and able hands. 

...of how small they still are, and how much they really do need me. The way laying with him soothes and comforts him at night, and how often he still comes up to me throughout the day just to lay a cheek on my arm or offer a quick affectionate kiss. The way she prefers for me to tuck her in and will only sit by me at dinner. The comfort my littlest finds on my lap, shallow as it may currently be, and the way her lip quivers when I try to explain that I am no longer able to carry her down the stairs in the early morning hours (I might cave once in a while). The way my kisses have magic healing powers and bandaids can only be rightly applied by me. 

...of how every season of life can be viewed  in two ways. Loathed or savored. And my ability to choose gratitude and positivity and hope is directly related to my time spent with The Lord, through studying His Word and prayer. When I find myself rushing through or wishing away the hours or days, it's because I'm in pursuit of something I've fabricated in my mind or placed above Him. Today is the gift. He made today, the way it's supposed to be with depth and richness and perfectly tailored lessons and provisions that I'd be a fool to miss or refuse to accept. 

...of my inadequacies. 

...of the gift of family, friendship and health. 

...of how warm and safe our home is. 

...of how fleeting the time I have to enjoy reading books again is. 

...that one of the sweetest moments of my life is quickly approaching. That there will be an hour in a day not too long from now that I will look at my child for the first time. I will name her and embrace her and life will never be the same. 

...that God has given me so much grace in places I used to feel completely inadequate or fearful. I've grown in my knowlege and love for Him and in the process have replaced worry with Truth. 

Tonight I'm thankful for this new clarity. 

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