I think that God has been gently nudging me in a new direction and I thought I'd share it with you - maybe you have already learned this or maybe it will encourage you as a new thought. But in the end, I don't want my writings to misguide you, so I decided a follow up post to my thoughts about 'wanting to run away' (found here) might be good.
As the Lord has been changing our hearts and desires to center more on knowing Him and living by His Spirit, we were aware of some of the things that needed to change in our home -our routine, choices regarding time management, entertainment, budgeting, etc. Along with that process came a frustration with just how much noise and distraction there is to weed out. The desire to pursue God more intentionally and throw off the things that are hindering us led me to the daydream that it would be so much easier to just cash in the chips, start over somewhere else, and find more solitude in my environment (you know, the 4 bedroom split level in the country!).
But God has been revealing to me that living a life that brings Him glory isn't done in isolation. Tucking myself away someplace where it's safe, pretty, and spacious might bring physical rest and audible quiet to my life (relatively speaking, of course, with a 2 yr old and 1 yr old!). But I was struck this week by how completely selfish the idea actually is. It abandons the concept of community, it is focused on my own comfort, and it provides more of an escape than a solution to anything at all.
Maybe we are right where He wants us for now. We are fighting to live in the center of His will, while good things all around us try to pull our attention away from what is best (and certainly while things that have no place in the life of a Christ follower also present themselves as temptations). I think peace and quiet and relative ease in making real-life, everyday decisions that have a kingdom perspective are luxuries we are not promised when we read Jesus' own description of what following Him will cost. Why do I think it should be any easier for me? No matter where I might run, or what I might try to run from, my own sin and the fallen state of our world will follow on my heels.
What I want to do instead is focus on running toward what God has for me, and for us as a family. And along the way, whatever we need to do to stay focused on that journey He lays out for us is what we will try to do, by His Spirit (and Lord-willing). We won't throw in the towel and cry about how hard it is, about how "it would all be easier to deal with if only...". Today, here, in my present circumstances, this is where God wants to meet with me, change me to be more like Him, and then use me. When I look at it from this perspective, it's right where I want to be.
Certainly no place I'm desiring to run away from.