Sunday, January 16, 2011

A bad recipe

The Winter Blues (serves 2 adult parents)

Ingredients:

2 little kids who have been sick for nearly a month straight
5 nights of broken sleep per week
1-2 hours extra office work per day
1 hormonal pregnant woman
1 crib recall, requiring the disassembly of old crib and assembly of new crib
6 baby teeth erupting at the same time in one mouth
Dash of seasonal bloody noses

Directions:

Combine all ingredients. Let marinade in sub-freezing temperatures with extremely dry air. Pregnant woman must lift and wrestle 60 lbs worth of children each day until muscles are pounded to even thinness and breathing becomes labored. Gently whisk in weight gain until roomy maternity clothes feel uncomfortable, then fold in a black tie event requiring fancy dress, heels and the stamina to stay awake until at least 10pm. Season to taste with chapped lips, dry skin, runny noses and deep chest coughs. Pairs well with ambitions such as potty training, teaching two children to sleep in the same room together, debunking bunk beds and reassembling one twin bed in another room, and preparing for a new baby.

7 comments:

carlybrust said...

Ashley I'm sorry to read this! It makes me so tired! (Although it is actually very clever.) I know the ups and downs of shared rooms...if it makes you feel any better, Calla and Kelsey love sharing a room now. Hope the transition goes well!

Meredith said...

hilarious and so well-written. although i know you're talking about your life and that part is sad ;( I think we're all sick of winter and its sicknesses. I have two sick myself and it is just so tough!

Rebekah Wallace said...

oh friend. only you could take all of those things and make them laughable at least (to those reading, not to those experiencing said recipe). I do wonder what the black tie event attire was and bet you looked beautiful no matter how you felt.

Uncle Ryan said...

I think they served this once when I was in South Africa. It just needs a little A1 to make the taste really pop. Wash it all down with a weekend trip to Philly to see your favorite uncle!

Hope you guys are good. Warmer and healthier days are ahead.

RyanLaurenAbby said...

Hang in there Ashely... we are right there with you guys! I am definitely ready for winter to be over here... it is frigid and hasn't stopped snowing since the first week in December... my kids need to get outside and run around to get their energy out! Hang in there Mama!

Jennifer said...

The bad news: yeah, no doubt about it...that's one BAD recipe!

The good news: I have the remedy! Just come visit us in Miami! We've got plenty of warmth and sunshine for all of you! Your winter blues will melt away in no time! (sounds tempting, doesn't it? come on...you know you want to!) :)

Oh, Ashley (and Rob), you poor thing! Hang in there. Springtime is just around the corner, and it will be one of your best ever! Much love to you, my friend!

Lindsey said...

Hang in there, Ashley. It sounds like it's been a rough month for you. I can't imagine how you're handling raising two little ones on top of being preggo. I'm worn out with just one. Thanks for the witty humor...I can definitely appreciate it.