2 little kids who have been sick for nearly a month straight
5 nights of broken sleep per week
1-2 hours extra office work per day
1 hormonal pregnant woman
1 crib recall, requiring the disassembly of old crib and assembly of new crib
6 baby teeth erupting at the same time in one mouth
Dash of seasonal bloody noses
Combine all ingredients. Let marinade in sub-freezing temperatures with extremely dry air. Pregnant woman must lift and wrestle 60 lbs worth of children each day until muscles are pounded to even thinness and breathing becomes labored. Gently whisk in weight gain until roomy maternity clothes feel uncomfortable, then fold in a black tie event requiring fancy dress, heels and the stamina to stay awake until at least 10pm. Season to taste with chapped lips, dry skin, runny noses and deep chest coughs. Pairs well with ambitions such as potty training, teaching two children to sleep in the same room together, debunking bunk beds and reassembling one twin bed in another room, and preparing for a new baby.