Sometimes I wonder

How I am going to manage this coming spring...

The unknown threatens my peace of mind and I begin to wonder... who will watch our kids so that Rob can be with me during the baby's birth... will I have to have another C-section and how would I manage that slow, painful recovery again... will our baby really be healthy as all tests have indicated it will be so far... will I struggle with post partum depression... how long will it take to adjust to taking care of 3 small children... what in the world are we going to name this baby?! {We have no idea.}

I remember being so anxious prior to Ellie's birth. We knew she was breech and that I would require a C-section - not my first choice. I had no idea how difficult and painful the recovery and adjustment period would be for the first 2 months, both physically and emotionally.

And yet we all made it.

Ellie was less than 2 weeks old here. I remember that my goals at this time centered around keeping Ellie alive, getting sleep, and providing stability and extra love to Robbie as he got used to sharing everyone's attention with his new sister.

We all made it through, and when I look back through pictures of the first years of both kids' lives, I realize that we not only survived but we made some pretty amazing memories. We have come so far as a family, and these two little people actually have a relationship with one another now.

Ellie has finally begun to walk on her own. Tonight she walked about halfway across the family room between Rob and I as we cheered her on. I laughed at the thought of being so excited that my 18 MONTH OLD is taking her first real steps! But I enjoyed every minute of it, soaking in her accomplishment (however late) and realizing that nothing brings me more joy than to raise the children God has given to us with Rob. I can't wait to start it all over again with a brand new baby that is all ours, to fold a new child into our family and celebrate everything about this new little life along the way.

I am so thankful. To have the opportunity to be a mom, for the children God has chosen especially for our family, and for all of the joys and challenges along the way that shape us as parents and draw us closer to the Father.

I will post last week's ultrasound pictures soon - all of the baby's measurements were consistent with my due date, so we are not concerned about the baby's growth or health. Our babe is also positioned head down, at least for the time being, for which I am thankful!