Proud? or Mortified?

You know how motherhood has a sneaky way of taking over your life to the point that you occasionally no longer recognize yourself? I've been unwittingly hanging out here a lot. (Who knew?) If you find yourself surprised by your resiliency / resourcefulness, or totally mortified by a new low or horrible situation you swore you'd never let yourself get into, then you might be keeping me company.

So here's my recent "Proud? or Mortified?" list.

*This morning I found that I had exactly 2 diapers left in Madeline's size. And if you know 4 month olds, you know that a stash that size can easily be blown in a matter of 5 minutes. Additionally, I had exactly 1 bottle's worth of formula left in the house. In my 3 1/2 years of parenting I have never, I repeat NEVER, allowed the number of diapers or amount of formula on hand get below one week's worth. Because you just never know what crisis or disaster might strike, leaving you unable to get to the store. ;) After getting to Target first thing this morning to remedy the diaper/formula situation, I found myself oddly proud of how much more laid back I am as Madeline's mother compared to the kind of mother I was to Robbie as an infant. Slightly mortified that we nearly ran out of food and diapers for the child, but proud that I had a moment of unpreparedness that is totally out of character for me. Perhaps I am unwinding a bit?

In the proud vs. mortified debate, I have decided that I am chalking this one up to PROUD.

*A friend mentioned to me that she knew someone whose baby was put on Nutramigen, the same formula Maddie is on for her milk allergy, and that this friend's insurance covers the cost of the formula because it must fall within some sort of medical condition covered by their insurance. Hmmm... I put a call in to our insurance company this morning and then to our pediatrician, asking them to notify our insurance of Madeline's situation and request coverage for the cost of her formula. I'm thrilled at the prospect of having this cost (high as it is) covered, and was feeling pretty good about my productive morning as I set things in motion to that end. And then I realized that we fed Ellie for an entire year with the same formula and never checked with our insurance about coverage for it.

In the proud vs. mortified debate, this one goes to MORTIFIED. At $22 per small can ($33 for a big one), that's a lot of money that I didn't have to spend during Ellie's first year, should our insurance cover the cost going forward with Maddie.

*Today I decided that Robbie needs to get used to wearing underwear all the time, and instead of putting a pull up on him for our Target run, kept him in his big boy pants. He dutifully yelled out "POTTY!" while we shopped, and made it to the bathroom in time, keeping his pants dry. We stopped at the park on our way home and ate lunch there, portable potty always nearby, and although he didn't use it he kept his pants dry the entire time we were at the park as well. Then we decided to stop at Miss Kate's store before heading home (our affectionate term for the resale shop), and while inside Robbie called out "MOMMY! POTTY!" and so we used Miss Kate's potty for the first time. Just as I was feeling super proud of my very potty trained big boy, a few minutes later he called out "POTTY!" again, and I encouraged him to go ahead and use the restroom again. He prefers privacy now when using the facilities and since he had already successfully maneuvered this bathroom once 5 minutes ago, I didn't think to lend a hand. I think he waited too long to try and make it to the bathroom, because my sweet boy had pooped his pants and was reaching back to poke at it through his shorts when I checked in on him.

In the proud vs. mortified debate, this one is a tie. SO PROUD of him for his progress and efforts, but just a touch mortified to be wiping poo off of everything and then asking Miss Kate for a spare plastic bag to carry out soiled underpants in. Better get used to this, I think. I only see more sacks of poopy underwear in my future (with all 3 kids!).

*I am very sore from my recent Sport Yoga class. This one could go either way, too - proud that I'm actually getting my sorry behind in gear at the gym, and for braving the more intense yoga class, but...

Mortified wins. That certain muscles are sore just from yoga is no good.

*This week I am totally caught up on laundry and ironing.

The fact that I am actually proud of this fact means that the win goes to MORTIFIED. 90% of the time laundry is piled up in hampers, baskets, or laundry room counters waiting to be cleaned, or even worse, hanging out on the sofa in clean piles waiting to be ironed or put on hangers. I really need a new system or routine so that laundry isn't always an issue. But hooray that it's not a mess right now!?

I know I'm missing a few more that came to mind this week. Have any you'd like to share in the comments?!