Vulnerable

My mom assigned this word to my current state when I tried to explain to her how I've been feeling this week. It's pretty accurate!

I have been anxious about this morning for a while, the morning Rob would leave for the weekend for a friend's wedding in Texas. When we were first making our plans, I was anxious to leave the kids behind (not helping was the fact that we had just experienced Ellie's febrile seizure). When we couldn't figure out a situation that would work in terms of their care, we decided that I would have to stay behind, and since then the anxiety has swelled as big as my belly into fear that something will go wrong while Rob is gone.

I think it has just so happened that with every pregnancy we have gone through, Rob has needed to fly somewhere during my 2nd or 3rd trimester and I have cried and worried and expected the worst to happen. It never has, but that doesn't keep those same fears from resurfacing, no matter how irrational (there is no such thing as rational when you are this pregnant, right!?).

So welcome, Braxton Hicks. Make yourself comfortable, Tums. We have 56 hours to get through together until the most sane, stable person returns to our household again. :)

**I am so glad my sister comes home for good from college tonight - she and my parents will be keeping us company and occupied while Rob is gone, and I am so thankful!