Madeline is 2 Months Old!

Dear Madeline,

You are two months old. That makes me want to cry! Although you are still little and very much a baby, you are growing so fast. Every day I feel like you look bigger, longer, chubbier, and more beautiful. I love watching you unfold each day into the little person God made you to be.

You are an absolute joy to us! You are a very content baby, and you give us a lot of lead time when you are hungry or need your diaper changed. Will you always be this forgiving and patient with me!? (I hope so.) You drift off to sleep pretty easily and stay asleep for good amounts of time. Thank you.

Your eyes are still a beautiful shade of dark blue, and your hair (that hair!) is still the biggest surprise you've given us. Maybe it's because we're outside more, where your hair is in its glory in the sunshine and beams the warmest shades of strawberry. We have no idea where you got it from, but according to Mima, your mommy and aunt Kelsey sported strawberry locks when we were both little. We are so curious to see if the color stays on you, or if you'll lighten up and become blond?

You had your two month well visit with Dr. Monson, and you did so well. (Big thanks for picking your head up off the table when she placed you on your tummy, even though we haven't been practicing! That was a close one. I owe you big time.) You are healthy as can be, growing taller but still staying pretty lean, took your shots like a champ and had a fever for the next day or so. She can still hear your heart murmur, and I will be glad for the day that little hole closes up so that I can put it out of my mind.

Your stats were: Weight 10 lbs 12 oz (47th %), Height 23 1/4 in (81%).

You join your sister in the ranks of those allergic to cow's milk (for the first year at least), and yesterday we made the full transition from nursing to bottles of formula.

I would be lying if I said I'm not sad to have to give up nursing. I cried to your daddy yesterday and I am pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy. Nursing had become difficult and painful for a variety of reasons over the last week, and I was miserable to the point of tears. But I will really miss those quiet times with just you, as there is something special about being the only person in the world who could nourish you and soothe you when you were hungry. I know you will still fall asleep in my arms and that you won't hold this against me later on, but for my own sake, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I'll find lots of other sweet things you and I can do together, just the two of us.

You are so much more alert this month - you coo and make intentional sounds when we talk to you. You lock in on our gaze and beam at us, melting us into a puddle with your gummy smile and lone dimple. You have a serious side as well, and I call you my little worried baby because you furrow your brow and sometimes open your eyes up wide, like "what in the world is going on!?".

I think you are going to have very expressive eyebrows, like your mommy and aunt Kels.

I'm just saying. See next picture for evidence: the one-eyebrow-raise.

I could just eat you up.

Your brother and sister love you so much. Although they are sometimes jealous of my time, especially when you need me to feed you or soothe you, they have never acted out against you. They have welcomed you into our family and into their little sibling club quickly and with nothing but affection.

You are so lucky to have Ellie as your big sister. Whenever you are crying, she runs over to you and in her deep little voice says "Wa's wrong, Maddie?", and "Aw, Maddie, it's ok!". She helps me burp you and loves to help me wipe you during diaper changes. She asks all the time to hold you. Watching me care for you has made a big impression on Ellie, and it's brought out the little mother in her. Once I found her in the corner of the room with her shirt pulled up, nursing her baby doll. I know she will be anxious to help feed you your bottles, once she realized that is now how you are fed and that she can play an active role in the process!

Ellie will help you figure things out along the way through life, and I hope and pray that you two remain close as you grow up. A sister is a very special blessing from God (I would know).

And for as lucky as you are to have Ellie, you hit the jackpot big time with Robbie as your big brother. He is big and strong, but as tender hearted as they come. He dotes on you, gently strokes your head, plants the softest kisses on your cheeks, offers you his prized trains during playtime, reads you books, and is quick to remind me to feed you when you start to fuss.

Yesterday at church, you and Robbie and I spent some time in the cry room listening to the sermon. It was communion Sunday and so my empty little cups were on the floor, and they seemed to be the perfect little playthings to Robbie. He stood up with one of them and turned it upside down, gently placing it on the very top of your head as I held you and said, "Mommy? Can I make Maddie a princess?!" The communion cup was your crown. A cute little anecdote, but honestly I think it's the way he views you. You are a little princess to him.

Realizing it's more fun to read to Maddie than just by himself.

I love you so much Madeline Jane. I couldn't have dreamed of a more perfect little girl to have as my third child, and I'm so thankful for you. This weekend you grew up so much, learning to take a bottle and not only sleeping in your swing but also in your crib occasionally! You will continue to grow up too fast for my liking, but I am determined to capture, remember, and cherish these days when you are still little.