Saturday, June 20, 2009

Health update, snuggles and guilt

Our pediatrician cleared Robbie of Strep and Coxsackievirus today... thank goodness!  She thinks he just has a virus of some sort that his body continues to fight.  Nothing was especially concerning to her, and she thinks both the new baby and I are not in danger of getting sick either.  I am so thankful for this news - I was not sure how I would deal with a contagious illness in Robbie than can last for 2 weeks and be spread to both me and our unborn baby.  God continues to protect us all.

Although he definitely seems to be feeling better, I can tell Robbie is either still not feeling 100% himself, or he is sensing change coming.  (He now points to my belly when I ask him where the baby is!)  He's been having a hard time staying asleep for the first part of the night lately.  Tonight I rocked him after gracefully (ha!) fishing his paci out from under the crib.  The poor guy is only able to sling one leg over onto my lap, and just buries his head in the crook of my arm/shoulder, but basically sits next to me on the glider instead of snuggling on my lap.  His little sister has already invaded his space.  He quieted right down as soon as we settled in on the glider and just stared up at my face as his eyes threatened to close.  He was fighting it, I think because he wanted some mommy time.  He has gotten very snuggly and affectionate lately (when I pointed out my fresh pedicure to him this evening after dinner, he crawled over to my feet and rubbed his sweet little face against my toes!).

All this makes me feel just awful about leaving him for 4 days next weekend.  As Rob pointed out to me the other day, it will be the first time I am away from him overnight (much less 4 days/nights in a row!).  I know I will probably miss him more than he will miss me, and everyone who is lined up to help care for him while I'm gone loves him dearly and he is very comfortable with them.  But mommy is still mommy, right?

Part of it too, I'm sure, is the normal 'guilt' I'm starting to process about bringing home another baby and not having as much time to devote only to Robbie.  I'm so excited for him to have a little sister, and Rob and I intentionally wanted them to be close in age.  So this is what we were hoping for.  It's just something you have to work out in your own mommy-mind, I guess, and get through.  I know he will have such a limited understanding of what is going on, and I just pray that he makes the transition well.

If any of you moms of 2+ kids have advice to share about getting ready to bring home baby #2, please feel free to share it!

6 days and counting...

4 comments:

Ryan and Kristin Zeeb said...

my mom was around for close to 2 weeks right after JD was born...intentionally spending a lot of time with Alexa which was great. She got lots of lovin' and attention while I figured out life with two, nursing a new baby, etc. And, then she was around so I could go to the grocery store...by myself...=) Which, I highly recommend, because life only gets busier!

RyanLaurenAbby said...

As an "experienced" mother of two : ) I would say that the key is to focus as much on the older as possible... whether it is a grandparent's attention or your own... also, Abby LOVES to help out getting diapers and burp rags, etc...

We will be praying for you!

vanrossum said...

Ashley,
I wish there was more to say about this that would give you all the answers! I can tell you what you are feeling is completely normal. And, not to worry you, but it only seems to be more bittersweet after baby #2 (or 3:)) is born due to emotions, hormones, and lack of sleep. My suggestions are to keep things as normal as possible for Robbie. This is a challenge, but whatever consistency possible will heop him. Secondly, whenever possible, be with Robbie. Baby girl will need you so often throughout the day and night, and you will have lots of uninterrupted time with her. But the blessing of a newborn is they will let anyone hold them (as long as they don't need to eat). But Robbie will need YOU more than anyone else at times. So when it is possible, let Rob hold her and you hang out with Robbie for a short time while she is not around. You will get used to balancing them and your attention towards them. Robbie will be better for this...he will learn much from it and will have a special bond with his sister, I am sure. Praying for you!!

mrs. bland said...

Hey Ash!! I came across your blog through Megan's and have LOVED hearing your updates and catching up on what you and Rob have been up to!! I must say, this post was so comforting to me. Lucas is 2 1/2 and I'm due in 6 weeks with our 2nd... a girl! And I've most definitely been feeling the same things as you... guilt most of all. Lucas is a bit older than Robbie so he's been able to have a hand in the re-decorating process/organization, etc. But he's definitely in for a big awakening when he has to split "mommy-time" here soon. I'll be eager to hear how things go with you guys and also be praying for you for sure!! Love, Mindy (Rupp) :)