This afternoon we will take Ellie to her first pediatric appointment for a check up. It should be an experience, since I can't drive, which means my sister will take me and we have to bring Robbie along as well. Later this afternoon I have high hopes of taking Ellie's picture with a surprise guest stuffed animal to begin charting her monthly growth.
Everyone here continues to adjust... slowly... Robbie is willing to offer Ellie love every now and then and even helped fetch her pacifier a minute ago. He finally took a good morning nap for me today. Ellie is still my big eater and a great sleeper, although she's starting to show signs of enjoying the night life a little more than the daytime. Rob has been amazing, and although I'm sure he feels like he's still adjusting too, you'd never know it - he comes home from a long day at work and doesn't miss a beat helping with Robbie, getting him dinner, bathing him and managing his bedtime routine. As for me, there are moments in the day when I feel like I'm really starting to heal, and then I'll have a stretch of time where I SWEAR the doctor has snuck into our house and is trying to re-open my incision with her scalpel. It takes my breath away and is discouraging, although I know this recovery process is going to be a longer one.
Most surprising is the feeling I have of missing Robbie, even though I'm with him every minute now that I'm home again. I feel distant from him because I can't pick him up, hold him, hug him, play on the floor with him... and it makes me sad because I feel like he needs that from me now, as he sees me holding this other baby and is trying to figure out what is going on. I'm looking forward to the day (in a week or two?) that I feel like I've healed enough to get back to our typical daily interactions and closeness.
Ok, more interesting updates and pictures with the next post, I promise!!