Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Groundhog Day

Some days we do really fun, unique things. Other days, like today, I lose track of what day of the week it is (forget knowing the actual date). I get lost in the cyclical nature of our life as it is right now... every day can feel exactly like the last one if I'm not careful and thoughtful. Blogging exactly how we spend our time each day has been good for me in a few unexpected ways.

- I hate looking back over a day and seeing that all the potential time I had to spend with my kids was spent on housework and errands without any of it being devoted solely to them. In my quest for balance in order to serve Rob and our family as a unit, I think I've gone a little too far. Time to loosen up and let a room or two stay messy, simplify our meals, and put together a better plan for accomplishing the laundry. Also, I will plan at least one specific thing to do with or for the kids each day. Can be simple, or something unique and special.

- I think milkshakes in the late afternoon might affect my kids' ability to drift peacefully off to sleep. Wouldn't have made that connection if I didn't have that day recorded to look back on!

- When I get an hour or so in the middle of the day during which all 3 kids are sleeping, I have to stop feeling like I must always use it productively. Quite often it's the only time I really have until my head hits the pillow at bedtime to truly check out or relax. Time to give myself permission to rest even though the sun is still up and there are tasks begging for my attention in every room of the house.

- There is not much I can do right now to simplify or streamline our current routines, as laborious as they may seem. Naps and bedtimes for all 3 have to be staggered, because of the room sharing situation and also because Madeline still presents her own schedule to me (I'm fine with that for now, since she's such a big sleeper! No use in forcing the issue of when I would prefer her to nap and go to bed, only to throw her off and end up with her awake and fussy more than she needs to be.). The day will come when all naps coincide or are (knock on wood) eliminated, and bedtime comes and goes effortlessly at the same time every evening. One day we will all eat dinner together. One day we will sleep through the night. Now is not that time. I will lay down what I think I want for an appreciation of what I have, and learn to be deeply grateful for things as they are today. Discontentment is such a terrible companion to keep. I will keep fighting to cut it loose from my heart.


Yesterday I forgot to mention that Robbie came up to me and while examining and playing with my hair, he asked "Mommy, is your hair magic?!". I asked him what he meant instead of immediately answering 'No' - I wanted to know where he was coming up with this thought. He said, "Like in 'Tangled', is your long blond hair magic?". Hilarious! I'm Robbie's real-life Rapunzel. A part of me wanted to tell him that yes, my hair really was magical! Of course I didn't. But for 15 seconds I was a princess to my little boy. It was awesome.

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