Trying not to be discouraged tonight. My contractions picked up in frequency and intensity this morning, and after calling my doctor's office and explaining my condition, they recommended that I head to L&D to be monitored and checked for progress. So we asked my mom to come over to watch the kids and put my bags in the car just in case, and off we went to the hospital.
The first check showed no change in progress (still 2 cm, 50% effaced), which was disappointing to begin with after all the contractions I'd had for 4 hours already. After monitoring my contractions for an hour while I sipped the ginger ale they asked me to drink to rule out dehydration, the contractions picked up even more and were coming 5 minutes apart. I was sure that when they checked me again, I would have made at least some progress to show that labor was either really beginning or already underway. Nope.
So, you can have contractions 5 minutes apart and apparently not progress into full on labor. How annoying is that!?
It is hard to be patient at the end of pregnancy when you are ready to meet your little one, have everything ready that needs to be prepared, etc. But there positive sides to the simple act of waiting - I can just focus on enjoying Robbie and Ellie now that my to do list is pretty much done for the new baby's arrival, and soak in the time with them. The part that discourages me is the physical challenge of getting through the day with such frequent contractions, not knowing how many more days I'll have to wait for something to actually start real labor. It's pretty consuming and wears me down quickly, and that feels unfair to Robbie and Ellie.
I am trying to focus on the fact that this baby WILL be born, eventually (although there is a part of me that feels like I might be pregnant forever). That Robbie and Ellie will never remember how short on patience their mom was for a few weeks, or how upset she got each time they bumped into her big belly or kicked her during diaper changes. And the Lord knows the exact day, hour, minute, second that this little one will enter into the world and He knows what is best for all of us. It's so hard to relax into His plan but really, what choice do I have? (Any of us, really.)
So although I'm disappointed that 3/26/11 will not be our baby's birthday, I'm hopeful that it will be soon, and trusting that whatever the timing is, it will be best.
And I refuse to unpack my hospital bag(s) now. I think it's perfectly reasonable to believe that if I leave them packed up, I'll go into labor sooner. Watch me live out of a suitcase for 2 weeks...!