Today we attempted going to church - success! I was so excited at the thought of going last night that it felt like Christmas Eve. I love our church and I miss my girlfriends there, as well as seeing all of Robbie and Ellie's little buddies. Our kids went right into their classrooms like they'd never missed a Sunday, but poor Ellie had a rough go at the end. We got chatting after the service and I ended up being the last mom to pick up her child in Ellie's room, and she was standing next to a little table with her head laid down on her arm, holding her lala (lovey blanket) and fighting back tears. When she saw me open the door she ran to me, crying and yelling about something indecipherable (baby cursing me for being late, no doubt). Her hair was a complete mess, pigtails falling out, bow hanging on by one strand of bangs... and she wouldn't let me pick her up, she just made a b-line for the door and said bye-bye to the workers and high tailed it outta there! It cracked me up. She walked down the hallway like a big girl, sucking her thumb and clinging to her lala, drying her tears, whereas in the past she has always insisted that I carry her. I had Maddie in my arms so it's a good thing Ellie was feeling independent. But she was just killing me - she's such a solid little thing and really showing us how capable she is in many ways, physically and socially.
Maddie did really well this morning, just fussing once during the service to nurse so we spent some time in the cry room. Walking the halls of a church with a newborn makes you a magnet and women I had never met (along with others I know well, of course) came up to us to sneak a peek at Maddie and ask about her. We feel so blessed and in love with our little girl and it's fun to share that joy with others, it never gets old. Now I am praying that we didn't bring any germs or viruses back with us into our home. We've been doing so well lately, staying healthy! But the hibernating had to end, and I am learning to balance appropriate caution with a deeper trust in God when it comes to mothering and protecting my children. Simply identifying and being aware of my tendency to fear was a good first step and has helped me a lot in my struggle to overcome it. I know I have a long way to go, but progress is progress and I'm thankful for any amount I can claim.
This afternoon it was HOT here - in the 70's! The kids laid down for naps shortly after we got home from church and later on after Maddie's afternoon feed I laid down with her as well. She had decided last night that 2:30-4:30am was playtime and nonstop feeding time, so we were both tired today. After such a brutal winter in more ways than one, I determined that this spring/summer I would not complain about the weather or take the warmer seasons for granted and make the most of them... but waking up from an afternoon nap sweating is sort of a mood-dampener. :)
And now it appears everyone in my household is asleep for the night, and I want to join them.